Sporting 0-1 Eldense: The newly promoted side's ambulance strikes again, and I called it — full-time reaction

What's up, folks? Post-match analysis of Real Sporting de Gijón 0 - CD Eldense 1, matchday 5 of LaLiga Hypermotion 26/27. And I'm telling you straight up: knowing football is a curse, and knowing Sporting even more so.

How it grinds my gears to be right

Not even six hours had passed since I told you in the pre-match: «come on, we won't manage it, will we, to be the ICU, the mobile ambulance service, the paramedics for Eldense, who haven't won a game yet and are in free-fall». Well obviously we will, mate. How could we not manage it when we're Real Sporting de Gijón?

And while we're at it, here's the full collection of things I warned about that came true, one after another:

• The cursed time slot. We've never won at two in the afternoon, and we still haven't. Fifteen matches now in that slot without a win. Some traditions, like Christmas, you've got to keep.
• New manager, guaranteed victory. Eldense had just sacked Barragán and came in with interim Josep Ferrando. Yep, it happened.
• Otero and Sarco together up top. I said that in the pre-match. And it happened.

Last week we came away saying if we played like we did against Girona we wouldn't lose many matches. So how does Sporting respond? With a Sabadell 2.0, the premium edition with all the trimmings. Come on, give me a break.

The first half: one chance in minute two and that was it

The lineup: Yáñez in goal; Guille Rosas and Cuenca at fullback; Pablo Vázquez and Duñabeitia in the centre; Nacho Martín, Corredera and Gelabert in midfield; Nikita on one wing; and up front Otero and Sarco.

And the match started well, right? In the first or second minute, a crystal-clear chance with a brilliant Otero piece of skill, he lays it off to the Asturian lad and he shoots: the defence clears. A good move that got you excited. But that was absolutely everything we saw from Sporting in the first half.

The rest was Yáñez pulling off a worldie and us losing the ball. Losing transitions. The team all over the place. Not winning a loose ball. Not winning a duel. They had possession, they had the pressure, they had the chances — it looked like they were the home side, mate. Several balls over the top: one the fullback fired wide, another went past the post, another straight to Yáñez.

At half-time, 0-0 and the crowd getting edgy. Mind you, no whistles at half-time. Those came at the end.

The second half: you stretch a bit… and in the 76th they knife you

In the second half it looked like Sporting was stretching a little, starting to play a bit better and wanting the ball more. There were a few things: a chance for the Asturian lad with a good save from Vila, a nice header from Loum, a through ball that Casas latches onto, rounds the keeper and runs out of pitch, and a Gelabert move where he gets tangled up and doesn't quite finish it.

And then, minute 76. I still don't know how it happened: one of their lads against three of our defenders, and the bloke ends up through on his own and finishes well. 0-1 and that's that. Javi Martínez scores it, coming off the bench.

After 0-1 it was total collapse. The crowd went quiet, nobody knew where they were supposed to be, who was meant to press, who was going one way and who was going the other. Defensive shape, build-up play, transitions: absolute chaos. And with an attitude like we were winning 3-0 instead of losing 1-0. The fans were howling, mate. Gutted as you like. Proper slump.

The substitutions: only one tried to do something

Nico's moves were these: at 60 he took off Nacho Martín and brought on Loum; at 69 he made a triple — Pablo García, Casas and Konrad for Sarco, Nikita and Cuenca —; and at 85, with the match already lost, Bruno Rubio came on for Corredera.

And of all of them, the only one who tried to shake things up a bit was Konrad, with a couple of bits of skill, some dribbling. Casas was around, but beyond that move where he rounded the keeper and ran out of pitch, not much else.

I didn't get the Pablo García change. Cuenca didn't have a card and I couldn't see any need to take him off to bring on someone more attacking. And what Pablo García did was four or five crosses that were hardly pinpoint, and then very weak defending. Loum, the header was good, but in midfield I thought he looked lost, lacking freshness and unable to move the ball — maybe that's not his profile and he's a pure destroyer, but come on, he looked very limited. Bruno Rubio did at least come on hungry for the ball: there's one move where he plays a lovely through ball.

To those who kill themselves for the team, not a bad word

Because here's something that's crystal clear: there are players who give everything. The case of Otero and the case of Guille Rosas. They kill themselves for the team, whether it comes off or not. And then there were others today who need to have a word with themselves. They looked checked out, mate: there'd be a stoppage, Eldense would already have kicked it, and ours were still «oh right, bloody hell, I didn't notice the ball was there». Sure, mate. Come on.

Larcamón, what were you trying to play today?

Because honestly I couldn't tell you. Just like against Girona we saw a serious, dominant, pressing team, today I don't know what we were trying to do. The build-up from the back was dreadful. Down the right wing you had Guille Rosas more isolated than ever, except for the odd moment when Otero dropped in there. Down the left, the Asturian lad didn't show up until that move in the second half. And they didn't give him chances to get forward, look for the two-on-one, nothing.

Not that you need to overcomplicate it or reinvent the wheel, for Christ's sake: 4-2-3-1, fullbacks helping the attack, no wingers or wet powder. Keep it simple.

The stat that really hurts: four out of twelve at home

Here's the summary of everything, and it's not my opinion, it's mathematics. Of the first five matches, four were at El Molinón. We drew one, won one and lost two: 4 points out of 12 at home. If it weren't for the win in Tenerife, which covers up the cracks a bit, this would be a disaster no matter how you slice it.